The Leaving Cert exams have been scrapped for the year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. (For you non-Irish League of Ireland fans, the Leaving Cert is the final exam in secondary school you do to get to college). Most people will be getting calculated grades. So we decided to give the League of Ireland Premier Division calculated grades based on the season so far.
Shamrock Rovers
5 Wins from 5, just 4 goals conceded, it’s been as good as it gets. Often times on Get Your Bleak On last season we often said they needed a 20 goal a season striker, Graham Burke is a quarter of the way there already. Big wins in the Dublin derby and against champions Dundalk have set them on their way to the title.
Calculated Grade: All A1’s, but ruined slightly by the fact they wrote in green pen.
Dundalk
3 points better off at this stage of the season then they were last time around. The reigning champions have had the one blip against top of the table Rovers, but when and if the season continues they’ll still be in the mix. Also scored the goal of the season through Jordan Flores.
Calculated Grade: Will have their pick of the college but you know the one B they got will haunt them.
Bohemians
Doing well and their Granny will want a copy of the results to stick on their fridge. Wore a Bob Marley shirt to the exam.
Calculated Grade: 350+ but probably used a maths set as a pencil case as is their penchant for annoying people.
St. Patricks Athletic
Big things were expected but it’s been fairly average. Will likely tell you they can’t remember how many points they got in a few years time.
Calculated Grade: “Look it’s not the most important thing like, who even remembers what they got in the Leaving Cert. I didn’t even add up the points anyway”.
Shelbourne
Surprisingly good start, will probably regret not aiming a little higher on the CAO. Even the Examiners were surprised when they asked for that second extra booklet.
Calculated Grade: Solid 300.
Waterford
Pretty much the definition of grand. Lost to two of last seasons top 3, beat two of last seasons top half teams. Got lucky that the poet they studied came up.
Calculated Grade: Will be told they get their first choice but will have it ripped away and will have to settle for that General Arts course their mam told them to put down. (That’s the last joke we’ll be making about the European qualification fiasco from last season).
Derry City
Poor start, the season being suspended may be a blessing given their rocky form. Just getting by when they should be aiming for Europe. Benefiting from the fact there are worse people on the curve.
Calculated Grade: Decided they had written enough and left early without reading back over their work.
Finn Harps
Only ever wanted to pass everything and get out alive. Survival is the aim, they are doing that right now.
Calculated Grade: Passed everything, moving on. Story of their life.
Cork City
Just the one goal scored but it happened to be a winner. It looked like it was going to be a really long season as many expected. Surprising after doing a great Junior Cert a few years ago.
Calculated Grade: Wore full uniform to the exam.
Sligo Rovers
One of those who arrive just before the half an hour mark and still leave early. Haven’t even filled a booklet halfway yet.
Calculated Grade: Didn’t bring a pen, kept asking Finn Harps if they can borrow one.
Get Your Bleak On is our weekly domestic football podcast out every Thursday. Click on our ‘Latest Episodes’ page to see our last 10 podcasts.
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