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Biggest Team In Louth Face Not The Biggest Team In London

A few months ago Shamrock Rovers, the new League of Ireland champions, faced a small relatively unknown club in the Europa League qualifiers. Now it’s the turn of Irish giants Dundalk to play an obscure European team.

Dwarfed in the shadow of Rotherham United, lies another North London side who play in red and white. Ar**nal (name censored due to obscenity) face in to the game of their lives when they take on Dundalk, a side that won the Leinster Senior Cup as recently as 2015.

Nicknamed ‘The Gunners‘ because they’re motto is “we’re gunna go have a good time and try our best”, Ar**nal play at the indecisively named Emm-Errr-ahhtes Stadium which is probably not as big as Oriel Park. They only qualified for the Europa League by winning the part time challenge competition, the FA Cup (Fine Arts Cup).

Ar**nal’s greatest achievements include sharing the 1991 Community Shield, and beating Western Sydney Wanderers in a preseason friendly in 2017. Their results so far this season include only scoring 3 goals against Fulham, and being taken to a penalty shootout by the second best team in Merseyside (as per the current Premier League table).

The English side will take hope from the fact they got a remarkable win against Austrian side Fast Wien last week. Surely however, they will fall to Dundalk, a team that game through a tie against Faroese Champions KI. Ar**nal on the other hand, haven’t even beaten a Faroese side in the past seasons.

With a huge FAI Cup Quarter Final coming up, Dundalk will be happy to be able to relax in this Europa League tie, which is sure to be one-sided. To put the game into context, there are 3 more birds on the Dundalk crest than the Ar**nal crest, the English side would be happy to lose by a scoreline of just the 3 goals.

While the women’s side boast the quality of the likes of Katie McCabe who recently scored this stunner:

the men’s side lack quality, with a squad that has no Irish players. In goal they have Burnt Lego, elsewhere on the pitch they will field Alexandre LackOfThreat, and a Brazilian with an afro who can score from 40 yards and get sent off in the same motion.

The game kicks off at 20:00 on Thursday, and will be over by 20:05.