Category Archives: Real Rad Football News With A Lot Of Attitude

Haaland’s Mam Encourages Him To Let The Other Players Have A Go Too

Having seen her son score 400 goals in his past five games, Erling Haaland’s mam has reminded her son that part of playing team sports is making friends.

Ms. Haaland, who for reasons never quite explained has the mannerisms of an Irish mother, signed her sun up to a play for Manchester City for the year in a bid to help her son meet people his own age with the same interests after relocating from Germany over the Summer. While Erling has found the art of scoring a goal easy to come by, one thing still alludes him… the idea that sharing is caring.

Over dinner Haaland’s mam, known as Maaland probably, told her little Erling that the other players won’t want to play with him if he doesn’t give them a go at scoring goals as well.

“It’s nice to win, but the most important part of playing in the English Bundesliga is making new friends”

Confused, Haaland asked if he had done something wrong, to which his mam replied by informing him he’s a lovely lad and that the other players would love to be his friend when they get to know him.

Haaland’s mam later wrote a note to Pep Guardiola explaining his son was having a problem with sharing and to keep an eye on it. It is expected that Pep will move Haaland to a inverted full-back position and play six false nines to try and encourage Haaland to let his teammates have a go at scoring too.


Manchester City Just A Couple Of Billion More Away From UCL Glory

Manchester City come up short in the Champions League once again, proving once and for all they have not spent enough money. Despite being one of the richest clubs in the world Man City have suffered from a lack of funding over the last decade, having only spent 400 Trillion on trophies.

The Manchester City owners need to loosen the purse strings and go out and buy the following if they are the reach the pinnacle of European football:

  • Erling Haaland
  • Kylian Mbappe
  • Karim Benzema
  • Lionel Messi from 2011
  • Neymar without the attitude
  • Prime Paulo Maldini
  • The 1970’s Brazilian Squad
  • The UCL Trophy
  • Two More Kevin De Bruyne’s
  • The Little Car That Brought The Ball Onto The Pitch During The Euros
  • West Ham
  • Carlo Ancelottis’ Eyebrows
  • A Crest For Their 3rd Kit

Furthermore Manchester City should have their number of players brought up from the youth team to the first team to 1.5.

In short, if Man City spend just another 2 Billion and everyone else stops buying they’ll win the Champions League.