FAI to Launch Investigation Into How Ireland Could Actually Play Well Against Georgia

The Football Association of Ireland are set to investigate the Ireland WNT potentially breaching traditional protocol and actually playing well in a football match against Georgia, rather than playing like a shower of damp raisins.

In their World Cup qualifying group game on Tuesday November 30th Ireland beat Georgia by a score of 11 (Eleven) – 0 at Tallaght Stadium, with players failing to result to dreadful long ball tactics within the opening 10 minutes, as is tradition when Ireland’s men’s team have played Georgia in every 2nd qualifying campaign since time began.

A spokesperson has said:

In the past the men’s international side have set certain standards when playing against Georgia, namely acting like they’ve never kicked a ball when finding themselves in an attacking position. Furthermore it is questionable that the available players all played in the correct positions which they are suited to.

A further appeal has been made by the people of Ireland to run a DNA test on Katie McCabe and Denise O’Sullivan to ensure they are actually Irish, with their ability to play technically good football consistently at a high level casting doubt over whether there is actually any Irish blood in them at all.

Ireland finish the year 2nd in their qualifying group having played each team once. However your aul lad was not impressed.


Your Aul Lad To Spend The Day Telling People He Still Doesn’t Care About Women’s Football

Despite nobody asking his opinion, and not being forced to engage with the subject, your aul lad has planned to spend his day telling anybody who will listen that he still doesn’t care about women’s football.

Following the Ireland senior women’s team setting a record for the biggest win in a game by an Irish international side, your dad has made it his business to ensure everybody knows he isn’t particularly interested in the women’s game (which is the exact same game as the men’s version).

Speaking to a customer service worker he frequently bothers, your dad was quoted as saying “You know there’s science behind it, men are a better fit for kicking a ball because they have testosterone”, before commenting on the players were “alright looking”, which achieved nothing but making everyone around him uncomfortable.

Your dad is expected to continue his venture in informing all who have to listen that football is a man’s game. He will conclude by saying he could outplay any of the women’s side, despite the fact he cannot see or find his own genitals.

Ireland recorded a record 11-0 win over Georgia on Tuesday, with the FAI to launch an investigation.